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お名前: fauree1845
投稿日: 2014/12/14(07:16)
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"スニフ"さんは[url:kb:1194]で書きました:
〉〉Snow makes the roads white
〉〉This winter is also going to be cold
〉〉Unkind words have hurt me but I'm OK
〉〉I've OK'd what will go with me
〉(snip)
〉〉I don't know the rules of poems at all.
〉〉If the contents in it are bad, please tell me.
〉I think the last word of the second line `cold' should rhyme
〉with the last word of the first line `white'.
〉It would be better to construct the second line to end with
〉a word such as `hide', `kite', `slide', etc..
Thank you for giving me an informative tip.
I'm so glad to read my first poetic writing.
Your advice makes me aware of the importance of "rhyming".
I didn't even notice that poetic error(am I wrong?).
In fact, this "poem" consist of an instant imagnation and fragile but streight passion inside me.
If possible, I want to know more about poem, which is my assignment.
Have a nice day!